The greatest cruelty of parents to their children is laissez-faire in learning.
when the winter vacation is over, the children are returning to school one after another.
but there are still many children who are unable to extricate themselves from the good life during the holidays.
listlessness in class, yawning, lack of concentration, slow to enter the state of learning.
the new semester has begun. As the "first responsible person" of the child, I hope that every parent will deeply realize that the greatest cruelty to a child is to let him be free in his studies.
01
Happy Education
is the biggest scam in education
are the following three bowls of "poisonous chicken soup" about education often seen by parents in moments?
the first bowl of chicken soup: happy education;
the second bowl of chicken soup: fully release nature;
the third bowl of chicken soup: education is useless.
under this influence, a large number of parents have joined the camp of happy education, claiming that they want to release their children's nature and let their children grow freely:
"grades are almost enough, and giving children a happy childhood is more important than anything else."
"the child is still young and does not want to put heavy chains on the child."
however, is such an education in pursuit of freedom and happiness really suitable for the current examination environment?
when these children grow up, will they really not feel competitive pressure compared with their peers who have been in various supplementary classes since childhood?
Japan, which faces us across the sea, has stepped on the trap of "happy education".
since 2002, the government has introduced various burden reduction policies: reducing the difficulty of schoolwork, reducing the burden on students, not ranking students, and reducing learning content.
what are the results?
it is said to train innovative talents, but ignoring the children who lack the accumulation of basic knowledge, they are simply vulnerable.
those families with the ability can still improve the competitiveness of their children by attending private schools and supplementary classes, and finally be admitted to prestigious universities.
while the vast majority of children spend a lot of time playing games and surfing the Internet, they have become a generation of losers who do nothing and talk only every day.
finally, Japan cannot bear the consequences of a complete failure of the reform, implementing "de-loose education" in 2016 and developing in the direction of "strengthening education".
therefore, do not feel that education abroad is easy. Children all over the world are running hard.
in the United States, only 26% of students can enter private schools and become elites, so children from ordinary families have to pay 100% of their efforts.
in Israel, children know from kindergarten that they need to work hard for the future.
facts have proved that if children want to stand out in the competition of thousands of troops in the future, they must study and endure hardships, which is the same all over the world.
there is a good saying on the Internet:
this short-sighted scam not only blinds parents, but also destroys children's lives.
02
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the freedom you give your child today
is his humble tomorrow
not long ago, "Sister Lang" Zheng Xiyi talked about her idea of parenting on a variety show, causing controversy:
she said that her daughter is now 5 years old, and her school only needs to learn to grow vegetables, and children do not have to write until the age of 7.
she also confidently believes that as long as the child is happy, she can withstand the pressure.
this "laissez-faire" parenting style attracted Tian Liang to reply on the spot:
"you can withstand the pressure, can your child withstand it?" The child tells you that I am very unhappy, why everyone else can, but I can't, what should I do? "
Yes, this kind of education may be suitable for stars, but it does not apply to the vast majority of children.
for us ordinary families, reading is not only the best way out of life, but also the only way to change our destiny.
maybe some parents will say: my child, I just want him to live a safe and ordinary life.
but even if you can accept your child's mediocrity, can your child accept that he falls into the dust? will his life really be happy?
A person's happiness index is often determined by these two indicators-dignity and freedom.
when your child grows up and is often turned away because of lack of educational background;
when he travels around the factory site, through the wind and sun, he is forced to do the hardest and most tiring work;
when his dignity and freedom are mercilessly torn to pieces by reality, there is no word happiness.
once saw the experience of a blogger in Zhihu:
his parents loved him from an early age, didn't like to study, played everywhere, and his family came by him, as long as he was happy.
finally he sighed: "if I had kept on studying, if my parents had forced me, maybe I wouldn't have to travel so much today, and my family could have a better life."
Yes, the child is happy before the age of 18, but the long life between the ages of 18 and 80 is bound to pay a heavy price for his happiness and indulgence.
Children who lack a skill are destined to be in the lowest, cheapest, humblest and most easily replaced position in the future.
this is an indisputable fact and the cruelest truth.
therefore, parents must understand that
every wasted day of their children is a slide to a mediocre life.
the joy and freedom you give him today is the root of his pain and humility tomorrow.
03
on the way to education
10 millionDon't expect children to be "conscious"
A few days ago, a piece of news about "loopholes in preventing addiction in games" was searched on top, causing a lot of controversy.
among them, many parents accuse anti-addiction system of some games of loopholes, which make their children take advantage of loopholes and indulge in games.
some netizens in the comment area hit the nail on the head:
I think so.
there are many parents around them. When their children are still young, because of their laziness and laziness, they let their children go and ignore them.
when the child is older and wants to discipline him and urge him to develop good habits, he finds it difficult.
especially in learning, there is often a family farce of chicken flying and dog jumping when there is no agreement between words.
there is a sentence in the Tsinghua high achiever Godson Sutra:
because the accumulation of knowledge is inherently boring, repetitive and even a little painful, it is difficult to persist.
for children whose mental development is not yet sound, it is normal for them to fear difficulties and want to give up.
as a parent, we must "force" the child in time and give him the right control.
on the way to learning, you must not be free and expect your children to be "self-conscious"!
behind every excellent self-disciplined child, there is a "tiger father and wolf mother".
like the mother of Yang Chenyu, the top student with full marks in Guangxi, she pays attention to cultivating her child's learning self-discipline from an early age, and guides him to read, watch popular science documentaries, and have his own interests.
talking about the experience of raising children, she pointed out:
"We must supervise the formation of habits when children do not have the ability to think on their own.
the process of supervision is painful, and you have to keep an eye on him and keep an eye on him all the time.
but after being finalized, the road behind will be easy to go. "
every self-disciplined child can not do without the long-term company, strict supervision and correct discipline of his parents.
parents must cultivate the good habit of self-discipline while the child is still young, so as to lay the foundation for his future life.
We can't protect the child for a lifetime. If we don't force the child to learn "72 changes" now, who will resist the "81 difficulties" for him in the future?