Qualified parents' behavior self-examination form, more than 15 items can be counted as passing, do you dare to test?
in reality, parents often make rules to require their children to do so. Unexpectedly, children will also silently write post-it notes from good parents in their hearts.
what are good parents in the eyes of children?
take a look at these 20 criteria. Have you been given extra points in your child's notebook?
01
good parents do not use "doting" to bind their children
doting is a mirage for parents.
many parents bind their children in the name of love, so that their children slowly become marionettes.
but good parents will not only make their children feel the warmth of home, but also let them be themselves.
parents like this are wise parents and good parents.
02
good parents make their children independent
, which is not only a compulsory course for children, but also a big problem for parents.
"fear of melting in the mouth and fear of falling in the hand" is the true portrayal of many parents.
but children are not independent and it is difficult for them to develop well when they grow up.
good parents know how to teach their children how to sail, so that their children will not be afraid of the great winds and waves of life.
03
good parents do not compare their children to others
Auguste Rodin once said:
is it the same with many parents?
obsessed with "other people's children", but indifferent to their own children.
think about it, are your children really that unbearable?
although he has some minor ailments, he is considerate, warm-hearted and honest, and is a very good child.
We often live in comparison, calculate the gains and losses in the comparison, and constantly get lost in the comparison.
Children do not cherish good times. One day, when children are slowly disappointed and depraved in the comparison of their parents, parents will feel that they were actually very good before, but it is too late.
parents should find more bright spots in their children and praise their children.
04
good parents let their children know the rules
as the saying goes, "No rules, no square."
Bear children always take everyone by surprise. Behind this, it is the "bad manners" of bear parents.
A child who runs around in public and yells is a child who will wantonly make trouble at home.
A child who wants everything and destroys other people's things at home is a child who destroys everywhere at home.
in this way, there are no rules in the eyes of the children, because their parents do not set the norms they should have.
the little is a bear child, and the big is the bear's parents, which is the most helpless.
05
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good parents put imaginary wings on their children
are also painting on white paper, looking at their children's "abstract" paintings, parents' reactions are different:
some parents praise their children's ideas even if they see their children's paintings are very messy;
some parents, when they see their children's paintings like this, they tighten their eyebrows and criticize them.
in fact, the reaction of parents determines the direction of their children.
Children who are boasted of having ideas have wild imagination and have extraordinary creativity when they grow up.
the accused children no longer dare to paint at will, have no new ideas, dare not express their ideas, and even hate painting.
06
good parents know how to control their emotions
parents' emotions most affect the character of their children.
peaceful parents can not raise irascible children;
extreme parents can not raise calm children.
07
good parents will create a harmonious growth environment for their children
harmonious family environment, which will make their children as warm and graceful as jade.
good parents love each other, do not quarrel in front of their children, and let their children live in fear.
they will help each other, understand each other, and never give up.
08
good parents can make a clear distinction between rewards and punishments
black-and-white parents will raise rebellious children;
parents with distinct rewards and punishments will raise wise children.
09
good parents never punish their children
corporal punishment, which can not convince their children, and over time, it will become a gap between parents and children.
"hit in the baby's body, pain in the mother's heart" is a true portrayal of how many parents.
it is the children who punish them, but they themselves are the ones who suffer. Parents should not act impulsively in such a thankless thing.
after the child made a mistake, the parents beat up and the child burst into tears.
but after tearful? Will the child never make a mistake again? Of course not.
because the child only knows one but not the other, the child knows that this kind of behavior will be beaten, but he doesn't know why he can't do it.
10
good parents recognize their children's achievements
for children, it is "easy" for adults to be happy for a long time.
you see how simple a child's happiness is.
at this time, good parents will say to their children:
A simple compliment, a lovely flower, is the child's "treasure".
11
good parents understand and believe that their children
many children will not shed a tear when they are beaten and scolded, but the moment they are wronged by their parents, the child's line of defense collapses and tears are pouring down. It's hard to bear.
in fact, not only children but also parentsYou should have a deep understanding of how aggrieved it is to be wronged by someone you trust.
parents are the people their children trust most, so they must not wronged their children at will and make them sad.
12
good parents are around their children
parents' company to their children is an hourglass, which will become less and less with the passage of time.
parents should go home often when they are old, and children should often accompany their children when they are young. This is the same truth.
Children with parents will give a deeper meaning to the family.
13
good parents let their children "work hard"
work can not only exercise their children's body, but also make their children understand the truth of "no effort, no gain".
good parents are long-term parents.
they know that life is a long journey, and children should not only have a good body, but also a good state of mind.
14
good parents believe that their children can do
those who are encouraged by their parents are always more cheerful and generous than other children.
because they know that their parents are their firm backing and will always support them.
good parents choose to be their children's "booster" when their children face challenges.
15
good parents, tolerate their children
Marx said:
it is inevitable for children to make mistakes, but the time of making mistakes is also the key time for parents' education.
at this time, parents should be more considerate of their children and give them room to grow up.
16
good parents do not complain to their children all the time
many parents use the complaint method of "how hard I work, you have to be sensible" to communicate with their children.
in fact, this approach is not desirable.
over time, children will only feel bored and do not want to go home, what is more, they will become self-abased.
17
good parents must respect their children's choices
when faced with choices, it is the most real time for people, and it is everyone's wish to be full of love and appropriateness.
the same is true of children. When faced with choices, they also want to have a certain degree of autonomy.
Children want to like, parents prefer appropriate, but like and appropriate do not necessarily conflict.
and, in many cases, love comes from appropriateness. When children encounter the right thing, it will increase their confidence and feel like it.
parents might as well observe and pay more attention to their children's character, and may find that what their children like is just right for him, but what they didn't care about before?
18
good parents will admit their mistakes and try their best to correct
some parents often put themselves in a very high position.
even if you do something wrong, you will prevaricate at will and do not want to admit your mistake.
good parents will be honest with their children about their mistakes and ask their children what they think.
make progress with children, correct deficiencies, and become better.
19
good parents mean what they say
for children, being able to do what they promise will make them more dependent on their parents.
good parents will not let their children's childhood be full of regrets and fail to find their parents.
because they know very well that if they break their promise, the child will be disappointed.
20
good parents do not say "rubbish" to their children
as the saying goes: "good words warm in three winters, evil words hurt people in June."
the harm of negative words to children can not be underestimated: "you are so stupid", "how did I give birth to such a child like you"...
many parents do not mean to say these mean words, but as soon as the words come out, the harm occurs.
good parents, who know the power of words, will not speak ill of their children.