No matter husband and wife or lover, no matter how good the relationship is, don't ask for these three things.

I saw a video on Douyin and I was impressed.

on Valentine's Day, the boy asked the girl:

"do you want the bag you like?"

"No."

"do you want your favorite lipstick?"

"No."

"shall I send you a red packet?"

"No."

then a flower girl came up and said, "Sir, buy a flower for your girlfriend."

the girl happily wanted to take the rose handed over by the flower girl, but the boy pushed it and said, "Oh, no."

the most popular message in the comment area goes like this:

"details become very cheap when I say you do it; if I say you don't do it, I become very cheap." You know, the taste of candy is different from that of voluntary candy. "

indeed, in the emotional world, reaching out and taking the initiative are two different things.

A person really loves you and won't ask you if you want it. I'm afraid you won't give it well enough. On the contrary, if you mention it and ask for it, the meaning will be different.

so, no matter how deep the relationship is, no matter how good the relationship is, don't stretch out your hand to ask for these three things. after all, what you want is not your will, but your willingness is the proof of your heart!

01

Love

there is a topic on the Internet: what principles do you understand only after you get married?

among the various answers, the most popular sentence is: "Love and bread, do not reach for."

this sentence may speak to the hearts of many people, those who reach out to love, in the end, most of them are black and blue.

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backstage, there is a reader Xiaolian, who once talked to me about her marriage story.

Xiaolian and her husband met during docking work, and Xiaolian fell at the first sight of each other.

she learned the online routines of "women chasing men, interlayer gauze", sending greetings to each other every now and then, and asking them out for dinner.

but the other party didn't call her very much, and she didn't pay enough attention to chatting and meeting, but she just didn't refuse clearly, giving Xiaolian the possibility to continue.

before she got married, Xiaolian felt that her kindness to him would impress him sooner or later, and even thought that it would be fine after marriage, and that men were slow to get hot.

later, when they got pregnant unexpectedly, the two naturally registered, and they didn't even have time for the wedding.

during pregnancy, her husband is still lukewarm to her, and she still has fantasies. She will be fine when she is a father, and men are late ripening.

until the baby was born, her husband was not surprised and still did nothing. Xiaolian got up every night to feed, change diapers, and even wash clothes and cook.

Xiaolian is like a single mother, who wants to be both a "father" and a "mother", while the person she loves is always high above, and even treats her as a servant, often talking about divorce.

the humblest sentence in the world is probably: "what's wrong with me? tell me, can't I change it?"

knowing that "a twisted melon is not sweet", he talks hard to quench his thirst.

it's just that love, asking for it and deliberately entangling it, is generally difficult to last long.

True love is uncontrollable. It is love, care and heartache, not submission, pity and charity.

when a man treats his feelings, he will give everything to himself if he loves you, and anything can be given for you. It's not that he doesn't know how to love, but because it's not you who loves you.

Women in love, to maintain their own bottom line and dignity, the hard-begged love, the other party will not cherish.

this relationship is comfortable only if we love you willingly and treat you sincerely.

02

asking for money

asking a man for money is the beginning of destroying a woman's dignity!

when I watched the Battle of Love, I was particularly impressed.

the female guest is very beautiful, her boyfriend is considerate to her, and when they are passionately in love, the boyfriend promises to support her for the rest of her life.

female guests feel that they still have people to support without having to work, so they might as well stay unemployed and stay at home.

at first, her boyfriend would call her part of her salary every month, and she either went shopping with her little sister or had afternoon tea every day.

slowly, her boyfriend's attitude changed and the amount of money he called her unconsciously shrank.

every time you ask your boyfriend for money, you will be resented: "what did you buy when you spent it again?"

"it was you who said to support me. Isn't it right to ask you for money?"

the female guest felt aggrieved and pulled her boyfriend on the show for everyone to comment on.

as a result, her boyfriend confronted her with a straight face without leaving a trace of affection. Finally, I would like to say, "if I say to support you, you can't really rely on me to support you. You'll be gluttonous and lazy all day."

at that moment, the female guest burst into tears. As an audience, they can deeply feel the embarrassment and fragility of the female guest on the stage. Yi Shu has a saying in Chenghuan Ji:

A man loves you, will take the initiative to spend money for you, and will be afraid that you have no money to be aggrieved, but if you ask him for it more times, he will be disgusted.

imagine how much love a man still has for you when he starts to be impatient with you and despises you from the bottom of his heart.

money, unless someone else takes the initiative to give it, it will not be spent so happily.

"I raise you" is just a courtesy of most men. Just listen to it. You are really stupid.

A smart woman will not ask a man for money. She will rely on her own ability to make money, not humble or begging.Beg, life is strong, marriage is freer!

03

to accompany

"I just want him to spend more time with me, why is it too clingy in his mouth?" A cold message came from my friend.

I thought about it and replied to her: active companionship is a confession of long-term affection, and what you are going to come here will only be perfunctory.

the problem of a friend actually indicates that a relationship is slowly cooling and snubbing.

after all, when most people start a relationship, who doesn't want to stick together all day?

when the other person is no longer trying to meet you as before, it means he doesn't like you so much.

writer Su Cen said:

the people who are willing to spend time with you and protect you may not be sincere, but those who do not want to accompany you will certainly pay no attention to you.

if you are no longer interesting and ask him to accompany you, it will only make the other person feel that you can't live without him, and he will be more fearless.

Women should understand that whether a man is sincere or perfunctory to you does not depend on how much he says sweet words, but on how much he is willing to pay for you and how much he is willing to give you.

those who always use busyness as an excuse, just because they no longer love or don't love enough, so they don't have to care about your feelings.

in a sexual relationship, if the other person takes the initiative to spend time with you, at least it shows that he is attentive to you and needs you to ask for company, and there will not be a big surprise.

in a relationship, a lonely and brave giving will not last long, and unrestrained taking will only make love wear away.

you can never look back without hitting the wall, but you must never lose your dignity and bottom line for love.

the love to come, the money to come, the companionship to come, like the details reminded, are not only cheap, but also belittled.

the heart that is given voluntarily is the true heart; the love that is given voluntarily is the true love; and the love that is given voluntarily is the true love.