"never marry a divorced woman."
can a divorced woman have anything to do with love in the second half of her life?
with such doubts, the variety show "palpitating again" for mature women is on the air.
this variety show invites divorced actresses such as Wang Ziwen, Bai Bing, Huang Yi and Wang Lin as resident guests to stay in the "Love Post Station" to start a 21-day "love journey".
Huang Yi cheered herself on Weibo long before the show began: "it is better to act than to wait blindly. Love takes time. In 2021, my time has come."
looks like love.
everything is ready, only the "timing" is needed.
so when you are lucky enough to encounter these three situations, don't hesitate.
your "time" has come.
01
treat love equally
Liao Yimei once said:
what kind of attitude a person will show when he meets love, this is very important.
so whenever a reader asks me when to determine when a person is cute, I will tell her, "the first thing is to see if the other person's attitude towards feelings is equal."
take the reader Bing Bing, for example.
the year before last, Bingbing ended her three-year marriage. After the divorce, for a long time, she could not get out of the haze of her relationship until she met her current boyfriend Jia long.
Jialong is Bing Bing's new neighbor. Because she lives close to her, she becomes familiar with her. Jialong, who is optimistic and cheerful, soon walked into the ice-cold inner world, and the two people who liked each other fell in love.
everything is happening step by step.
until Jia long learned that Bing Bing had had a failed marriage.
in a letter, Bing Bing said to me:
"when we were together, we were really in tune. I thought our relationship was honest enough to tell him everything."
however, Jialong's attitude changed after learning that he had been divorced.
Bing Bing obviously felt that Jialong was not as attentive to the feelings between them as before.
what makes Bing Bing most unbearable is that one night, Bing Bing found that when Jialong was chatting with him, the other person was always absent-minded and took out his cell phone to look through it from time to time.
and when Bing Bing found out that he was chatting with his female colleagues, she finally couldn't help asking him why he was so close to her female colleagues and still in touch so late.
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to this, Jialong responded lightly:
"what's wrong with chatting with female colleagues?" You've been divorced. I'm just socializing. "
"No wonder people say not to marry a divorced woman. I haven't even married yet."
if words are sharp blades, I believe that ice is already covered with scars.
finally, the relationship ends with a breakup.
the ice experience reminds me of a sentence in Jane Eyre:
doesn't it refer to people who can't treat their feelings equally?
in their eyes, there are only defects but no light.
such a person, even if missed, is not a pity.
remember, what you are waiting for is a person who treats love equally and treats you equally.
it's the right time to meet such a person.
02
sense of security
divorced women are cautious and careful about love.
if there is such a person, his appearance, can make her desperately fall in love again, then this person must have given her a lot of sense of security.
many years ago, Yi Nengjing and Yu Chengqing had a ten-year marriage.
later, because of "holding hands", but also because of the original family and other reasons, the two finally ended their marriage.
after the divorce, Yi Nengjing did not have any sociality. she spent five years reflecting on why the marriage failed.
as she said in the interview:
she mistook Yu Chengqing for "driftwood" in a vain attempt to save herself from the whirlpool of her native family through him.
in the end, I hurt myself as well as those who love me.
by the time she finally realized that love is not unilateral redemption, but a two-way trip, a big mistake had already been made.
I have to say that even if Yi Nengjing makes mistakes, God still favors her.
after missing Yu Chengqing, she met her second husband, Qin Hao.
Qin Hao has said publicly on many occasions that Yi Nengjing was his goddess idol when he was a teenager. It was precisely because of this that he expressed his affection to Yi Nengjing just three days after they had known each other, and wanted to associate with each other for the purpose of marriage.
unsurprisingly, Yi Nengjing refused his confession.
even though Yi Nengjing was equally fond of Qin Hao at that time, her inner insecurity still made it impossible for her to take a brave step.
after all, in her opinion, she is a divorced woman with children and ten years older than her partner.
We mentioned earlier that true love lies in equality.
Yi Nengjing's hesitation and rejection did not hinder Qin Hao's love for her. in Qin Hao's heart, love has nothing to do with age and others. Love is love.
he put himself on an equal footing with Yi Nengjing, gave her the sense of security she wanted most, and finally married her sweetheart.
I still remember that when Qin Hao was criticized by public opinion for his performance in the program, Yi Nengjing wrote such a paragraph on Weibo to defend Qin Hao:
I have to say that Yi Nengjing's "small composition" can always hit the hearts of the people.
from her words, it's not difficult.It can be seen that the sense of security given to her by Qin Hao can withstand all the slander.
so no matter what others say, they still love each other.