Find the reason from yourself in case of trouble.

as the saying goes, "if a man is not a sage, who can make mistakes?"

when people are alive, they will inevitably be negligent and make mistakes.

when you make a mistake, instead of passing the buck, again and again, it is better to reflect on yourself.

find more reasons for yourself to constantly improve yourself and meet a better self.

01

often think about their own mistakes, no matter whether they are not.

one of Lincoln's most common words is:

Lincoln has always been called by many Americans the most perfect Fuhrer in American history.

but he is such an excellent person who likes to comment on right and wrong very much when he is young and writes poems and letters to satirize others.

once, Lincoln published a letter in the newspaper ridiculing James, an American politician, as an arrogant and aggressive man, for which James was laughed at by the whole town.

the sensitive and proud James was furious. To restore his dignity, he threatened to fight Lincoln.

this made Lincoln a little scared, so he specially went to learn self-defense. Fortunately, at the last minute, their friends stopped the battle.

this incident made Lincoln realize that his radical remarks were a kind of harm to others, and the harm was likely to extend to himself.

later, Lincoln never criticized others sarcastically.

even if his wife talked about other people's rights and wrongs, Lincoln would say to her:

as the saying goes, "across the side of the winding mountain is a steep peak, but there are a variety of things from far and near."

everyone stands from different angles, sees different landscapes, has different identities, and sees the world in different dimensions.

as the old saying goes, "when you sit still, you often think about your mistakes, and you can't talk about others."

instead of spending time talking about the rights and wrongs of others, it's better to improve yourself.

Master Hanshan also said in the Song of awakening: "Don't put your heart into ignorance, don't lose others."

one's own mistakes should not be made again and again, and the mistakes of others should not be publicized everywhere.

knowing people without judging others and keeping the governor quiet is a person's highest upbringing.

02

instead of complaining, it is better to reflect on having read such a story.

A husband found his wife becoming deafer and deafer.

the husband was very upset, so he went to consult a doctor.

the doctor told him that he could try to call several times from far to near.

the husband took the doctor's advice.

when I got home, I came in and asked my wife, "Honey, what are you going to eat tonight?"

however, he did not hear his wife's reply. 

the husband took a few big steps forward and then asked, "Honey, what are you going to eat tonight?"

this time, still no reply has been heard. 

the husband was disappointed. He approached his wife and asked, "Honey, what are you going to eat tonight?"

then he heard his wife say, "eat fish!" I've answered you three times! "

it suddenly dawned on him that it was not his wife but himself who was deaf.

A lot of times, we think that the problem lies with others, but we don't know it's our own.

there is an old couple who have been in the same boat for most of their lives. 

Grandpa is always dissatisfied with the old woman's noodles. 

he has told the old woman more than once: "Don't cook the noodles so badly, just cook them for five minutes." 

however, the noodles cooked by Mrs. are still the same.

the old man couldn't stand it and decided to cook a bowl of noodles for the old woman to see.

when the noodles were cooked, he hurried to call the old woman: "get up!" I must show you today how to cook the noodles so that they won't rot! " 

the old woman stayed on the bed and said slowly, "No!" I must show you today how a bowl of cooked noodles is rotten! " 

it turns out that noodles are always too bad because of Grandpa's bed, he just spoiled a bowl of noodles that had just been cooked.

but the old man has been complaining about the old woman and can't cook noodles.

in marriage, what I fear most is that each clings to what he has already seen dislikes each other, and fails to see each other's efforts.

A lot of times, we just want to change each other, but never think about introspection.

always focusing on each other's shortcomings, do not like anything, will only make the marriage full of grievances.

Life will be happier if you can put aside your complaints, be relieved, and think more about it.

Mencius said, "if you can't do it, you can't do it."

when things happen, don't always think about each other's shortcomings, think more about each other's strengths.

finding fault with others will only make the relationship worse and worse. You have to find the reason for yourself before you can get along well with each other.

03

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Successive people can not do without introspection

people who are excellent know-how to introspect.

needless to say, the hardest part of the journey is the loss of fame and the ridicule and ridicule of others every time I read the list. When 

failed for the sixth time, Zeng Guofan's examination paper was regarded as a negative example. The ufeffufeff examiner said that

was criticized in public for the first time in his life, and it was such a "hanging criticism" that Zeng Guofan was particularly uncomfortable and embarrassed. After ufeffufeff

returned home, he dived into his study and summed up the reasons for his failure. He understood that the problem was that he was too formal in writing articles, lacking overall vision, and was not atmospheric enough. Then, given these deficiencies, made painstaking efforts.

finally, in another imperial examination, he won the scholarship, and then he was admitted to Jinshi and entered the Imperial Academy. 

Life is not plain sailing. At the age of 47, Zeng Guofan was abandoned by the emperor and fell into a low ebb.

in those two years, he kept reflecting on his words and deeds at home. After being re-used, he behaved, reborn, and finally became a generation of saints.

Zeng Guofan encountered many setbacks in his life. Instead of giving up and complaining, he always reflected on himself.

Sanmao also said:

people who know how to reflect and be strict with themselves are more likely to succeed. They can see their flaws and shortcomings and slowly correct them and turn them into advantages.

A person needs a window to see the outside world and a mirror to see his heart. The window sees the light outside, and the mirror sees its deficiency.

when the heart is bright, the world is wider.

Gorky also said:

if you often think about your own mistakes, you can avoid detours and reach the other side of success as soon as possible. 

04

find a reason for everything from yourself

A sentence from the emotional master Tu Lei:

Life is impermanent, only constant introspection.

long life is like a curve, with peaks and troughs. When people are at a low ebb, they reflect on themselves; at peak times, they keep a low profile.

people who are good at introspection can go farther and farther and become more and more excellent.

introspection is called self-awareness in psychology, and it can lead us to the right path.

A famous host and parent-child education expert Wang Xiaoxing said:

A famous host and expert in parent-child education said:

people have been disturbed all their lives. May you and I put aside our prejudices, don't complain, don't be arrogant, reflect on everything, brighten our hearts, and become better selves.